Life has been irregular for me, I had proud, amazing times, and also abnormal, bumpy roads… Tonight I tried to look more deep into a question. During tonight’s Junior art show, it was kind of a disappointing one because the people I long for to come didn’t come. The only reason I could think of is that they forgot. After watching millions of dramas, movies and stuff, I thought of tragic things, and I prayed for that to not happen. I rather hope they forgot than to fall into my silly mind.
The best and only part that I got cheered up was compliments on my arts from my freshman art teacher who was also the other Junior art class’s teacher today. One of the things he asked me was if I’m thinking of going to an art college or which I am thinking of going. I really didn’t know if I would major in art. But in my heart I think I probably won’t go to a major art college. And I really don’t know what I want to do or what I want to be my major. If I really intended to major in art, I wouldn’t have a chance to go to a major art college unless I get a full scholarship. They are all in the east coast after all. I don’t have the strength to do that.
I continued to think deeper. I looked back and saw how my life was irregular after third grade’s second semester. Maybe my life WAS somewhat different from others when I first came to life. After my life drastically changed in my 9th year, I went through multiples of hardship. It continued and I was in a regular school again in middle school. And here I am right now, high school, in SOTA, with art as my major. Yes, I count that as one of the “different” parts. If I went to Balboa HS I would think it’s the “normal” life. I would of learn more academic things, and other different things if I went to Bal. But I didn’t go the normal way. And in this current path, SOTA did alot to my life. I had a new skill, or I should say I found one of my skill, I learn different arts and all other stuff, while lacked a bit of normal academic.
Here it is, the question pops up in my head again…What would happen to me if I went to a major art college in the east coast? What would happen to me if I stray from my current path and go the normal path where I thought I might aim for UC.Davis. I thought of UC Berkeley but then I’m nervous to go there. The name itself gives me pressure. If I go the normal path… Would I end up having a normal job? A normal life that doesn’t include art? Or maybe a normal life that includes art but a down one? Would I end up jobless? If I go the East… Can I handle it? Would I have enough money to even paid for living? Would I get a job when I come out? Would someone in the world that I don’t know see and know of my name from something I design or create?
My life has been a narrow part for quite some years, it would be hard for me not to think what would happen to me if I go back to normal. The core of this issue is that I don’t understand myself.
